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The Art of Forgiveness


Full confession: the complete title of this blog is “The Art of Forgiveness, When you Really Want to Smack Someone” and was inspired by a visit to my local coffee shop. To set the scene: it’s Monday morning around 8am and I’ve just dropped my 13-year old dog off at the vet for tooth extraction surgery and I decide to spend my anxiety ridden hours of waiting by doing work down road at a coffee shop. When I arrive, it’s pretty empty and I find a cozy table in the corner to set up. As the world gets moving, the coffee shop starts to fill up. A sweet lady politely asks me if we can switch spots, I have quite a bit of stuff spread out and I was more than happy to pull it together for a smaller spot; she was meeting 2 of her friends. The lady changes her mind and keeps looking for an alternative. I go back to my world of pretending to work, and really just trying to keep my mind busy. A few minutes later, a random guy loudly states “I don’t know why she needs all that space, you can have my spot.” He was clearly speaking loudly to me and my initial reaction was extreme offense and disgust at this uninvited intruder. He moved to a high top, put in his ear buds, and went on with whatever it was he was doing. With him being in my clear line of sight, I began to stew from my cozy corner. “Who the F does this guy think he is? The coffee shop police?” “I should give him a piece of my mind.” “I should make a scene and cry about my poor dog and make him feel bad for even thinking of making that passive aggressive comment.” As i continued to let my blood boil, I realized that he had gone on with his life and was completely oblivious to my building angst. At first, his ignorance to my steaming irritated me even more. And then I realized, why do I even care and am I really going to let this small moment break me? HELL NO! Me allowing myself to react (even if only internally) wasn’t helping my anxiety for my dog, and it wasn’t serving my highest purpose, which in the moment should have been supporting my dog. This random dude was currently living in his own shit, and for whatever reason he felt the need to make a statement, and my anger slowly started to morph compassion. And just like that….I let it go.


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