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Separation Anxiety - Teacher versus Teachings

How does one separate the teachings from the teacher?

The studio from the abuser(s)?

The ones who choose to stay silent from those I call friends?

Spoiler: I don’t have the answer

And I do have experience of sitting with this discomfort.

My former teacher did some shady ass sh*t to me, and my friends.

Stories are continuing to arise over popular teachers, both living and deceased.

I taught/practiced/assisted at a studio for 10+ years, and yeah some problematic sh*t went down at the end, and more was revealed when it was over.

I have A LOT of feelings about folks who I wish would use their voices to speak up against injustices.

This post isn’t to unpack this, mostly because I’m still processing all the hurt, confusion, self-blaming, and frustration.

Instead, sit with your own personal glorification of teachers/studios.

Remembering that teachers are imperfect humans, and the teachings are meant for us, and also passed down through us.

I am learning to appreciate the amazing things I learned AND also recognize that some of my teachers were sh*tty people.

Holding multiple truths at once is a practice.

Yes AND…

Yes, I spent a TON of money and was exploited AND I gained valuable knowledge and friendships.

Yes, it’s sad the studio shut down with no warning and is now being demolished AND the owner made biased and selfish choices, an abuser was allowed to operate within those walls, and many folks (myself included) were contributing at these happenings. #silenceisviolence

Yes, I can value people, AND nope I don’t have the energy to keep engaging as you choose to stay silent against firings, and sexual assaults.

Definitely not onto that love and light, I’m on that solidarity and action. Hop on, it’s never too late to make a difference.

S/o to the ones who can sit with this discomfort. I’m still learning 💜


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